Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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