To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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