but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
