Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
