How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize