she looked like the before picture.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
