Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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