Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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