How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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