i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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