After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
