My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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