watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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