u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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