So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
they call him Oral-B. enough said
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
