I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Randomize
