This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
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She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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