I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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