I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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