I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
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If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
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You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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