eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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