You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
