I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
