Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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