my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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