She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
