He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm just crazy horny about you
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
