I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
