This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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