Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
