sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts