i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer