saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.