So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.