Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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