Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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