Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
