I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
