how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
