Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
