so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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