neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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