how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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