Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
