im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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