I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
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She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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