Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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