dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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