why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
