Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
