this beer tastes like vomit already
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
