he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
