when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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