hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize