think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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