He is such a slut. More and more my type.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
