More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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